Covid-19 has shut down humanity and forever altered the landscape of work and socializing, sure. But how is it affecting my parenting, you ask? No one has a clue!
Parenting has been stripped down to the Mad Max survivalist basics, with grocery store runs involving protective gear and a disinfectant smog greeting me when I get home.
We all understand. We're all in this together. So, throw a few crackers towards your kids and buckle up for our COVID countdown of things I've learned while on quarantine.
All work at most jobs can be done from home in half the time, unless kids are there. The dirty little secret of white collar and office workers everywhere has been exposed at last: 90% of their day could be squeezed into a Zoom meeting. Will some businesses decide to simply stay with remote workers?
That Marie Kondo is really on to something! Hey, it may have taken nearly four decades and an honest-to-goodness plague, but my towels are all rolled and my clothes folded neatly on display with room to spare. Arigato, Marie Kondo.
School is daycare, and also full of saints. School is 6-8 hours long because Americans have no extended family to care for our children and both parents usually need to work. That's it, the rest is filler, just like 90% of work. Educating, inspiring, and well, tolerating two dozen kids for hours a day takes a special type of person. So buy the damn extra office supplies for them next year!
Introverts like me have barely noticed social restrictions. If I wasn't married with kids, I could see myself turning off my phone ringer and letting the world sort itself out for a few months. I'll check in every once in a while to download new Audible and Kindle files on WiFi.
Society is not ready for a fully remote work economy. For those who had a panic attack when they just read about me wishing I could be alone for months, I understand. Just because I would thrive in a remote worker economy, doesn't mean that everyone could. We'll have to find new balances between home and work.
Carole Baskin clearly killed her first husband. This seems to go without saying, you cool cats and kittens, but she definitely got away with murder. Also, meth is bad.
The environment needs us to become a maximally remote work eeconomy. One of the few highlights of this massive shutdown has been the glimpse into how quickly Nature can begin healing itself. From dolphins in Venice to cities free of smog, it just goes to show what's possible if humanity puts its collective heads together for a common purpose.
So there you have it. My observations from inside the Coronadome wasteland that is 2020. Cheers! Follow me on social media for more gems in status form.